Grey Bard's Journal
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Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Dear Fandom,
Stop killing the women to get the babies. No, I'm serious. Stop killing the women to get the babies. And NO, being all "Oh, gee, I know this bothers some people, but I hope mine is different 'cause I actually like women" does NOT make it any better. Or at least, not better enough to count.
What the hell is this, a Disney movie? NOT ALL MOTHERS DIE.
I'm saying this as someone who *loves* kidfic, and loves slash, this nonsense gets old. Fast. In order to have the gay hero have kids, someone we have never seen before comes out of the woodwork, says "I'm dying" and conveniently bestows his biological kid upon him. And that, aside from a few sniffles on the kid's part, is the end of her. Her death was a necessary entrance ticket to the world of biological fatherhood. And now that she's conveniently kicked the bucket, it is time for puppies and ice cream! Again and again and again.
If you don't have a female character whose life is already canonically in danger in some way (works in dangerous profession, already has life threatening illness, planet blew up) and/or you don't intend to give her death any emotional impact of note to her child or its father, how do you not see this might be a kind of sketchy recurring trope? For a gay man to have a kid a woman he had sex with needs to die? She's a pasted on dead womb! Wooo.
Why can't the mother just not be ready for motherhood and give the father custody? Why not have a kid on purpose, and no one needs to die? Surrogacy or having a kid with a single woman or nice lesbian couple who want kids. If you're in the world of sci fi, I would like to introduce you to the concept of the uterine replicator. Oh those wacky Ancients / Mad Scientists / Aliens / Californians in Space! What about a pre-existing kid who is already a member of his family? Or why not some kid, not biologically related, already lacking parents? I hear there's this thing called adoption.
Do I mean you? Yes, I mean you. Whoever you are, reading this, however much I love your fic or you personally.
No, I don't tell you this in the comments of your fic, because that would be rude and pointless. And hey, other than that aspect, maybe you wrote a good story which I am pretending to myself began in a different way.
Yeah, I know this is kind of wanky for me, but for once I do not give a damn. I've seen it one too many times, with that stupid disclaimer attached.
Note: comments are welcome, but if I don't already know who you are, I reserve the right not to care what a random stranger has to say.
Friday, November 6, 2009
I was minding my own business, liking Star Trek, buying a small and not unreasonable amount of Star Trek merchandise. Then, one day I woke up to find I had descended to a depth of geekitude I had never before suspected in myself.
I had found the desire to modify action figures.
What the hell? How did this happen to me?
Oh wait, I wanted a mini bridge crew for my Christmas tree and saw this unfortunate news: "Chekov in Enterprise Uniform (available only online with this assortment)." Right, if I wanted Chekov in uniform, I needed to wait until January and then buy a giant expensive package of figures. What? No. Just no. *
Then I came upon a way of making my bridge crew dreams come true through a method so stupidly simple, even I couldn't mess it up.
I give you... The Head Swap! (Instructional pictures under each cut tag)
( First, you need a Cadet Chekov figure and a Sulu figure and a hair dryer. )
( Next, you put the hair dryer on high and blow hot air from pretty close on the neck of the figure from all sides. )
( Then you quick pull off his head. Pop! Off it comes! Pretty easy too. )
( Then you switch the heads. Voila! Now you have a Chekov in a gold uniform and a Cadet Sulu action figure too! )
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) alder_knight, want a Cadet Sulu action figure?
*Yeah, or buy him at the vastly inflated rate of $20 after shipping from a shady figure broker. I know. But hell no. This was cheaper, faster and more fun, and I got two figures out of it.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Dear god, this is enough to shake a cook. I'm actually a pretty good cook, just ask mosellegreen, but my two attempts to make pumpkin bread have been dismal failures. Seriously dismal.
The recipe I just made is the most boring food on Earth. There's no way I can serve these to anyone! Anyone got any good suggestions? I'm throwing myself on the mercy of the internet here.
ETA: By popular request, I bring you The World's Most Boring Muffins.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Once upon a time there was Geocities, Tripod and Angelfire. Now, time has passed. I am currently embarked on a quasi-fannish project that needs a site which, for reasons that do not need to be explored at this juncture, would be better off with its own site rather than borrowing a friend's domain or hosting.
No, it does not need its own domain. No, it does not need much serverspace. It can be GreyBardsProject.WhateverTheHellSiteThisIs.com. And yes, it needs to be a page, not a blog. FTP ability is a plus.
Suggestions?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
I know it is horribly expensive. I know it is so crowded as to make Dragon Con look like a May meadow. But for professional reasons, I need to go next year. Anyone interested in a roommate? I'm up for as many as feasible. Er, no guys please.
Not looking for hard commitments necessarily, this far out, just. You know. Testing the waters to see if anyone is up for it.
Friday, October 2, 2009
No, really. Not only is there going to be Stonehenge Apocalypse, a movie presumably about Stonehenge and an apocalypse starring Mischa Collins (Supernatural), Hill Harper (CSI:New York), Torri Higgenson (Stargate Atlantis) and Peter Wingfield (Highlander, *obviously*) in one giant cheesy pile of b-movie goodness, but wait! There's more!
Now there's a Holmes & Watson vs. Monsters low budget movie in production starring Dominic Keating (Enterprise, in which he played a prissy and possibly closeted weapons officer) and Gareth David-Lloyd (Torchwood, in which he... what, are you living under a rock?) as Holmes and Watson respectively.
Is it just me, or does someone out there have our number?
Monday, September 21, 2009
But the whole thing that is pretty much spelled out in the Lonesome Dove series by Larry McMurtry, the thing that makes any of it make *sense*, is that Call is in love with Gus and is gay. Not bi, gay. Not that the word gay, or anything like it was used, but this is the old west in the 1800's.
Because there are pages and pages and pages devoted to how Call loves Gus so much, doesn't want to be parted from him for any reason ever, no one else did he ever connect with or feel understood him etc etc etc. They live together for about thirty years, work together, move to new locations and professions together and raise a kid together. Call reacts very badly to Gus sleeping with and marrying various women, to the point that Gus often comments upon it.
Many pages are also devoted to how Call doesn't understand women, doesn't understand why anyone - particularly Gus - would want to sleep with or marry one, how Call only slept with that one woman because he was confused and liked her and sort of thought he was supposed to, and freaked out at the very idea of being married to a woman, even one he liked very much. Which fuels much of the plot of the series.
And it isn't misogyny, because he likes them as people. He just is croggled by the idea of anyone wanting to be in a heterosexual relationship.
Clara, the woman Gus loves most, is stated to be deeply jealous of Call and his relationship with Gus in the text.
People who have read any of these books, am I crazy, or was Call being in love with Gus a genuine plot point? I don't mean slasher goggles, I mean, like, author's intent*. This is a genuine and non-rhetorical question. Please chip in with your two cents whoever you are out there reading this. Because if Call is A) Not in love with Gus B) Straight or even bi, he's just... an idiot. Who does dumb stuff. And the books make less sense.
(*For those who know not the McMurtry, McMurty was one of the writers of the screenplay of Brokeback Mountain, so this is not exactly an impossible idea.)
ETA: On rereading Lonesome Dove for the first time in several years, I amend gay to gay or asexual - and in love with Gus. The in love with Gus part, and the really not het or bi at all part is the relevant detail.
Monday, September 14, 2009
I took part in the con's attempt to break the Guiness Book of World Records record for most dancers doing the Thriller dance.
Yeah, I know. No, I did not dress up as a zombie. So here's the official video of the whole ridiculous attempt. Actually, the dancing isn't half-bad for a bunch of geeks who practiced for fifteen minutes. There were 903 participants, about half were in costume as one fannish character or another. The video:
Thursday, September 10, 2009
So, you put two fans in one house for more than a couple days and you have a better than even chance of creating a new fandom. Well, a new mini-fandom at least.
Showdown in Little Tokyo is one of the slashiest enjoyably dumb action films out there, and quite possibly the slashiest thing to break Rule 34. Yes, it breaks Rule 34, as far as Mosellegreen and I can tell - if anyone has written or drawn for it, we have yet to find it.
So, erm. We created a comm. Showdown Tokyo. And a primer! Which you can see below.
This is Brandon Lee. You may remember him from The Crow and Rapid Fire. His father was also sort of famous. In this movie, his character is Johnny Murata. Murata is charming, smart and delightfully snarky. Born and raised in the San Fernando Valley, he finds suggestions that he should "embrace his culture" both hilarious and dumb, particularly when coming from this guy....
This is Dolph Lundgren. He starred in Universal Soldier and Black Jack, among many other movies about shooting people. Yes, he was in He Man, but he learned to speak English and act really well, honest! He spends half the movie shirtless. His character, the police detective Chris Kenner, grew up in Japan and bought into the samurai thing perhaps a little *too* much.
What is it? Delightfully cheesy early 90's action flick.
What is it about? Highly slashy cop team-up between characters played by Brandon Lee and Dolph Lundgren.
Why is it so great? Showdown In Little Tokyo is many, many things that fans like, all wrapped up in one compact 78 minute package. A hilariously cheesy and over the top early 90's action film, one of the most brain-meltingly slashy things ever marketed to straight men and a surprisingly smart and funny (for an early 90's over the top action film) jab at cultural and martial arts stereotypes. Er, if you're only paying attention to the heroes. The villains, they are made of cardboard! But come on, consider the genre.
What rating is it and why? Rated R for non-gory excessive movie violence, topless women and R-rated language.
( How slashy is it? )
( So, what's the plot? )
( What about the funny? )
( What about the hotness? )
( But what about the girl? )
( Is there anything I might not like about it? )
( Where can I get it? )
( Where can I find fanworks for it? )
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
In Atlanta this weekend? Want to meet fellow fanfiction-lovers? My friend mosellegreen is an Atlanta local and a longtime fan and has decided to host a fanfiction meetup party at her house in the Atlanta suburb of Kennesaw this Sunday. There will be a backyard barbeque, dancing and a vid show. Filking is also welcome if desired.
All listed activities are optional, anyone who wishes to avoid any of them is welcome to hang out elsewhere in the house or yard and avail themselves of provided fannish media or impromptu activities. Costumes welcome! Warning: house contains a cat. Food and drink will be provided, including vegan-friendly soup and salad, but contributions of any variety are welcome. All flavors of fanfiction fan are welcome, from slash to het to gen from all fandoms. This party is not limited to D*Con attendees - all are welcome, and local fans will be attending. This is not an adults-only party, so if you have children, feel free to bring them along. Currently taking suggestions of vids for the vid show. Fans with disabilities - Mosellegreen's backyard, where most of the festivities will be held, is accessible from the street without the use of steps. RSVP is appreciated but not required. Please, if you have a vehicle, consider offering to carpool other guests, as this house is not convenient to public transport. Mosellegreen will be happy to ferry guests to and from the convention, but only three seats are open, and these are on a first come first served basis. Festivities will begin at 2:30pm and let out at 6pm in order to give everyone plenty of time to get back for the Masquerade. Please comment or email me at fitzrose @ email.msn.com and you will be provided with an address and contact details. ETA: Only one person RSVPed so this is cancelled.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I have a downstairs neighbor who is practicing the actual tuba. Energetically to the accompaniment of what sounds like either a high pitched warbly singer or a yodeler. (Hard to tell, muffled by distance.) You have no idea how inexplicably hilarious I find this. It's like something out of a television sketch!
Do any of you have neighbors with amusing habits to share?
Monday, August 31, 2009
I'm... not sure what to make of this. Thoughts?
Current mood:  shocked
Thursday, August 27, 2009
So it seems like a lot of you out there in LJ/DW-land are having a bad day. For the purposes of amused distraction, I now offer up the worst? Best? Television reinactment ever.
This was totally for real and aired on actual tv.
It makes early Doctor Who look like it had expensive effects.
Two words, my friends, carboard bear.
ETA: In answer to a confused reader, it is not *about* Doctor Who. It just makes Doctor who look good *in comparison*.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
If so, would you be willing to take a look at my Star Trek XI vid in progress? A snarky Uhura vid. That is: Uhura is being snarky. At Kirk.
You know you want to.
Message me on AIM or comment here and we'll work something out. Doesn't need to be in chat, email is cool too. The sooner the better, but later is okay!
No, I don't have to know you personally. I'm desperate, here.
(Note: Edited for clarity and desperation)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Wanted: Characters frequently described in fic as having blond or red hair who clearly do not.
Also, characters often described as having a totally different eye color than the truth, particularly when the truth conflicts with stereotype or is not seen as glamorous. I.E. A blond with brown eyes described as having blue, a black person with green eyes described as having brown, a person with brownish-hazel eyes usually described as having bright green etc. And any other such suspect physical inaccuracies. Big, strong 5'9" women described as delicate and tiny. People described as pale who... really aren't. Characters frequently referred to as members of a racial group to which neither they nor the actor belong. Yes, comic characters too. This is the time for your pet peeves! Why: For secret vidding purposes. So step right up and jump right in! I don't need to know you from Adam, I'm just looking for suggestions. P.S. Please feel free to share any pictures you feel are particularly instructive.
ETA: I know it looks like I got a lot of comments already on the LJ post, but seriously, please keep the peeves coming. I need as many as you can dredge up.
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